


Courtship

by thievinghippo



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-24 19:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10748280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thievinghippo/pseuds/thievinghippo
Summary: Jaal's family comes to Meridian, ready to ask questions and get some answers about the relationship between Ryder and Jaal.





	1. The Tavoan

“Tell me true. Does my son satisfy you sexually?”

Ryder stills, a cup of tea halfway to her mouth, at Sahuna’s question. “Umm…” she says as a way to try to stall from answering, or better yet, not acknowledging the question at all.

This is supposed to be a relaxing lunch, a chance for Ryder to spend some time together with Sahuna. Now that Jaal’s family took the time to come to Meridian, Ryder cleared her schedule as much as possible. She and Sahuna sit in her father’s old quarters in the  _Hyperion_ , listening to music while eating an actual home-cooked meal. But instead of enjoying her salad - with actual greens from Elaaden - Ryder wants to be anywhere but here.

“Oh, how your cheeks redden,” Sahuna says, delight in her voice. “Jaal told me about the human blushing, but I never expected to see it myself.” She sets down her fork next to her plate and looks right at Ryder. “Now, why are you embarrassed?”

Another question which makes Ryder want to find a hole and let it swallow her up. She takes a breath, and tries to remind herself about the differences in human and angaran culture. “Sex isn’t something we-” Ryder stops herself to take another breath. Why is remembering to breathe suddenly so difficult? “Something that humans talk about in public.”

_Especially with your boyfriend’s mother…_

“I have made you uncomfortable,” Sahuna says at once. “Please forgive-”

“No, it’s fine,” Ryder says, forcing herself to make eye contact with Jaal’s mother. She might want to be anywhere else right now - the middle of a kett base sounded  _great_  - but she’ll get through this conversation if it kills her. “I’m assuming that’s a common question for angara?”

Sahuna nods, picking up her fork, which she then happily spears into a vegetable. “It is. Sex is an important part of many relationships. Not all, of course. But from what Jaal has told me, though, I’m to understand that it’s an important part of yours.”

Ryder tries not to slouch in her chair as Sahuna looks at her expectantly. “I’ve no complaints on that front, honestly,” she says, hoping her answer will end the line of questions and she can go back to her salad in peace. Maybe bring out the pie she and Jaal made last night in the  _Hyperion’s_  galley. A poor imitation of a chocolate mousse pie, but better than nothing.

“No complaints?” Sahuna says, and Ryder could hear disappointment lacing the woman’s voice. “Does that mean there is no praise?”

Where are the damn Remnant when she needs them… “No, of course not,” Ryder says quickly, folding her hands in her lap, willing herself not to stare at them. The absolute last thing she should be thinking about is Jaal and bed and praise. Not here. Not now.

“I did not realize humans could turn that shade of red.”

“We can,” Ryder says, her voice inching higher. “We most definitely can.”

Sahuna leans forward in her chair, clearly waiting for a more detailed answer. “So Jaal…”

“Yes,” Ryder says, swallowing down her embarrassment and fear.  _Think like an angaran_ , she tells herself. An angara wouldn’t think twice about such an inquiry. “He very much satisfies me.” She says nothing more, hoping beyond hope that Sahuna doesn’t request any specifics.

A smile, showing all of her teeth, crosses Sahuna’s face as she claps her hands together once. “Oh, that is so good to hear. A mother does not need to know more so let us continue to enjoy this delightful meal.”

“Right,” Ryder says meekly, trying to concentrate on her food. But her mind keeps wandering to the question Sahuna asked and just why she made such an inquiry.

_Jaal better have some answers…_

#

He did not expect to get back this late.

For most of the day, Jaal’s been wandering around Meridian with his siblings, reveling in being reunited with his family once more. They will be gone in less than a week, when the  _Tempest_  goesoff on another assignment, but he pushes those thoughts aside, determined to enjoy the time they have together. 

And now that the hour is late, it is time to enjoy his time with Ryder.

He palms the console outside her quarters - or as she keeps saying, her father’s old quarters, as if they are not hers now by right - and lets himself inside. The lights are dim and Ryder is curled up under a blanket in their bed.

The corners of her lips turn upward as their eyes meet. Once, he believed this woman to be emotionless, with little more feeling than a Remnant. Now, he knows better, knows this small smile she sends his way is full of happiness, and more importantly, full of love.

Love for  _him._  Jaal is truly the luckiest of all men.

He walks to the other side of the bed, ignoring the fact that he should go to the refresher to brush his teeth and oil his skin. “Love of my life,” he says, scooting forward so that his chest is flush against her back. He places a hand on her stomach and adds, “Temptress of my loins…”

Ryder turns onto her back, the smile gone from her face. Has he said something to upset her? He tries to think of what might make her smile disappear. Did they not message enough today? Did she think he ignored her while he spent time with his siblings? Did he-

“Why did your true mother ask me about our sex life today?” she asks.

Oh.

_Oh._

“She did?” Jaal asks, sitting up, already feeling the loss of her skin from beneath his palm. He did not expect this, not yet. But perhaps he should have. After all, less than three months ago, he kissed Ryder for the whole galaxy to see. Of course his true mother took that as a sign of commitment, especially when he told her more than once that Ryder fiercely guards showing her feelings in public. “I see…”

Ryder lifts her chin, and a look of suspicion crosses her face. It’s subtle, a furrow of the brow and purse of her lips, but it is there all the same. “What aren’t you telling me?

She reads him so easily. Most of the time, it’s humbling, but at this very moment, it’s maddening. To give himself a chance to stall, Jaal pats his lap. An invitation. When they are alone, as far as he is concerned, they cannot be close enough.

Without hesitation, Ryder sits up and settles herself in-between his legs, leaning back against him. The trust she shows him…  _Stars_ , he loves her so much.

But now there is no more time to stall. Now he must speak. Jaal is unsure why he’s nervous. She loves him. He loves her. He’s as certain of that as he is there are stars in the sky. Yet this is different somehow. Different in a way he doesn’t understand.

“When two angara care for each other as we do, it is customary for the family to become involved,” Jaal says, leaning forward, resting his chin on her shoulder. Because of the ends of his tendrils on his chest, it is an awkward position. But less awkward than if he wasn’t close. “The family asks questions to ensure that the match is sound. It is called the  _tavoan_.”

Ryder says nothing and for longer than Jaal likes, the only sound in the room is of the two of them breathing. “So your mother could tell you to end things with me if I didn’t answer right?” she asks and Jaal hears an unaccustomed uncertainty in her voice.

“There are no right or wrong answers, my darling one,” Jaal says before pressing his lips against her shoulder. “My mother adores you, almost as much as I do, though in a very different way. I cannot imagine she would ever be against our courtship.”

“So  _tavoan_  means courtship?” Ryder asks. Even though he cannot see her face, he can hear the smile in her voice.

He chuckles, letting out a hint of bioelectricity through his palms. She shudders against him, as he knew she would, giving Jaal a chance to hold her closer. “More like, an exploration of a trusted relationship. But courtship will do.”

“You want to court me?”

“That I do,” he says, though the truth is he’s been courting her for a long time, even before he first took her to meet his family. “And I want  _you_  to court  _me_.”

Ryder turns quickly, swift enough he cannot stop her. Resting back on her knees, she studies him. “How?” she asks, the word eager enough to cause his chest to tighten in happiness. “What do I need to do?” She bites her lip, looking away. “Unless you’d rather not tell me. Should I look this up?”

She is so close. So close. Jaal finds he cannot resist the temptation any longer. So he leans forward, kissing Ryder gently on the lips. She kisses him back, just as softly, and for one perfect moment, there is nothing in the galaxy except the two of them.

But then she breaks away, ending their galactic solitude. “So the  _tavoan_?” she asks. “What exactly does it entail?”

That is his Ryder, always wanting to know the specifics so she can plan. Jaal strives for now, for the moment, but she hardly seems to ever be able to let herself do the same. With the Initiative depending on her, he understands, and treasures those moments when she is firmly in the present with him.

“For an angaran, there are five aspects of self,” Jaal says. He’s not thought of this since the revelation of the Jardaan, the species that created the angara. Did they program this belief or is it something his people discovered on their own as they strove to find their place in the universe?

Ryder has her omni-tool out but Jaal grabs her hand instead. “Hey,” she says with laugh. “I wanted to take notes.”

“I hardly think notes are necessary,” he says, bringing her hand to his lips. “Surely you can remember five things?”

“Now you’re just teasing,” she says.

“Never,” Jaals says, pressing his lips against her wrist, against her pulse. It is a sacred spot, where he can feel the blood flowing through her veins. “The five aspects of self are sexual, emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. A relationship should be compatible in all five if there is any hope to last.”

His mind thinks back to the only other time he would even have considered a  _tavoan_ , with Allia. Even then he knew it would never have worked. Sexually and physically, yes. They were quite compatible there. Everything else felt stilted, especially emotionally. So when his elder brother arrived, Jaal was not surprised when things ended quickly.

But Ryder? Jaal never dreamed that he could find a match so perfect for himself. The only aspect he sometimes worries about is mental compatibility - she is so bright and quick and his education so spotty - but he’s never felt  _lesser_. Ever.

“So your true mother is going to ask me more questions?” she asks.

“Not just my true mother,” Jaal says, thinking of the coming days ahead. His family, his beautiful family all coming together to support him and the woman he loves. It is as if he is dreaming, though he knows he is awake. “Other members of my family will ask questions as well.”

She seems to consider his words. Then with a tilt of her head, she asks, “My mother-”

Jaal puts his index finger on her lips, thinking of Ellen Ryder. Ryder almost always becomes melancholy when she thinks of her true mother and this is not the time. Now is a time for joy, and for each other.

“You are human, Ryder,” Jaal says. And he is glad she is. If she was angara, she would not be  _Ryder_ , the love of his life. “I understand that your ways are different. You do not need to conform for me.”

Perhaps Ryder agrees, he thinks as she takes his hand and puts his finger over his own lips. “I’ll figure something out,” she says quietly. Or perhaps she doesn’t. “I don’t want you missing out on something important because I’m human.”

A promise is in her voice and it makes his heart sing, that she is willing to go to such lengths for  _him_. “I do not want to add to your stress-”

“There’s no stress,” she says lightly, kissing him quickly on the lips. “If your family is willing to ask me awkward questions, the least I can do is have my family do the same.”

“You are amazing,” he says and it is one of the truest things Jaal’s ever said, on par with  _I love you._

“Yeah?” she says, pressing herself against him. Her eyes are a promise and Jaal breathes in quick as her tongue darts out and wets her lower lip, already anticipating the pleasure ahead for them both. “Well, you’re not so bad yourself.”


	2. Sexually

_Hello, Jaal._

At the sound of SAM’s voice, Jaal looks up from his workstation in Ryder’s room, even though he knows there will be nothing to look at. Habit. “How can I help you, SAM?” he asks, picking up his datapad. His family wanted a rest after the lunch they just shared, so he took the chance to do some work. He will finish this gift to the _Tempest_ crew, an epic poem of their adventures together, if it kills him. At this rate, it just might if he doesn’t find a rhyme for ‘intelligence’ soon.

_I have been researching the_ tavoan _. From the texts I have discovered, I see that the true mother is responsible for organizing the family and that Ryder should not be a part of that. She was not aware of that and planned on undertaking the responsibility herself._

“Of course she did,” Jaal mutters under his breath. No one will ever describe his Ryder as uneager.

_She is now aware that someone else needs to take the lead and accepts this. As you know, Ryder’s mother is incapacitated. I was created to help her mother and prolong her life span. Because of this, I feel it is my duty to organize the_ tavoan _for Ryder._

“That is very kind of you,” Jaal says, meaning every word. It makes sense, in a way. The only other person he imagines might offer is Scott, and Ryder’s brother is still recovering from his various maladies.

_So I must ask you, does Ryder satisfy you sexually?_

Jaal widens his eyes, not expecting SAM to ask so quickly. But who else would ask just a private question? Ryder is so private of a person, SAM makes sense.

The datapad goes back down on the desk as Jaal leans back in his chair. “You would know,” he says dryly. “You are there for the experiences, are you not?”

If he is honest, Jaal tries not to think about Ryder’s connection with SAM too much. It’s ridiculous to be jealous of a machine, but SAM knows everything there is to know about Ryder. It’s a level of connection Jaal can only dream of.

_When I realize that the two of you will soon be intimate, I choose to busy myself with other matters. I do try to give as much privacy as I possibly can._

He did not know that. “Thank you,” Jaal says. “That is appreciated. The answer to your question is yes. Ryder is nothing but satisfaction.”

Jaal’s not sure what sort of response he expects from SAM; he’s not even sure he wants one. But there is only silence. And after a minute, it becomes unnerving. “SAM?”

_While I might try not to be present during your encounters, I still take data. I am unable to stop that function. Eighty-seven percent of your sexual interludes with Ryder ends in completion on your end. You have let her believe the percentage is one hundred._

Jaal wants to protest about this claim, but stops, knowing it to be absolutely true. “I have never lied to her,” he says, a sense of shame settling onto his shoulders. While he can tell himself he never lied, he knows that in spirit, he has. He can think of several times he let her think he finished when he had not, and knew he would not.

The worst is he’s not even sure why. More than once, Ryder let him know that she wouldn’t have an orgasm during sex. The first time it happened bothered him greatly - angaran women almost always come, and easily, too - but once they talked it over, Jaal understood that human women are different, more like angaran men. Which makes his actions seem even worse in comparison.

_A lie of omission is still a lie in many cultures, including the angara._

“I don’t want her thinking I don’t desire her,” Jaal says, running his hand over his head. “I do, oh stars, I do, but…” He trails off, staring at his hands, not even sure of the rest of the sentence.

Before their first time together, Jaal watched human pornography, trying to get a better idea of what to expect with Ryder. The men in those vids… They were machines. Angaran men aren’t like that. Is it misguided to not want Ryder to feel as if she missed something by being with him? Perhaps it is.

_This_ is the purpose of the _tavoan_ , for situations exactly like this. To make them realize issues and shortcomings in a relationship that neither party might not have known were even there.

“I will make this right, SAM,” Jaal says. And he will. He will tell Ryder the truth and never again let her think he finished during sex if he has not. He feels lighter, almost, at the thought. Perhaps this weighed him down more than he realized? “Thank you.”

_You are most welcome,_ SAM says. _Logging myself out._

Jaal leans back in his chair. The first question of the _tavoan_. There will be four more. He can only wonder what revelations those might bring.

#

“Ryder, may I have a moment of your time?”

Ryder looks up from her seat in the main cafeteria. One of Jaal’s cousins looks down at her, but for the life of her, she can’t remember the woman’s name. Ryder’s tried so damn hard to memorize the names and faces of his family, but there are just so many of them. So different than her small family. Dad had no siblings. Mom, a brother with no kids. Ryder and Scott had no other siblings or cousins. _Lucky Jaal,_ she thinks.

“Of course,” Ryder says, gesturing to the empty seat across from her. The cafeteria’s not so busy at the moment, which means less people to eavesdrop. She knows rumors are running rampant about her and Jaal right now, especially with most of his family visiting Meridian. Conversations like this won’t help.

“Thank you,” the cousin says with a smile. “We met so briefly, you might not remember my name. I am Neera, Jaal’s favorite cousin.”

Ryder smiles, wondering if every cousin is Jaal’s favorite, following his mother’s footsteps. At least Neera was kind enough to introduce herself. Jaal’s family had it easy. They only need to remember one of her, when between his many mothers, siblings, and cousins, she needs to remember seventeen of them. “Hello again,” she says, wondering what question will be next.

“I’m sure you know why I am here, so I will be brief,” Neera says, folding her hands in front of her. “Does Jaal satisfy you emotionally?”

The answer is yes, how could it not be yes? Ryder never imagined that she would find someone so open about their feelings. And he always wants to know how she feels as well. For someone used to burying their feelings, almost bordering on repressing them, there’s a freedom to that. She’s never once felt like she’s burdening him with her feelings.

Yet part of her worries. He’s so open, so free in regards to how he feels. Even before they started their relationship, all Ryder needed to do was look at Jaal and she would know _exactly_ what sort of mood he was in. And then there’s her. She’s tried so hard to be better about things, to try to tell him her thoughts, and even more important, show him. But she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be comfortable with emotion like he is. Worse, she doesn’t know if she wants to be.

Will he be satisfied with that? So far, he’s not said anything. But in a year? Five years? The rest of their lives?

“You are quiet,” Neera says and Ryder hears the worry in her voice.

Ryder stares down at the plate of noodles in front of her. Why must these questions come when she’s trying to eat? She’s not sure what to do here. Neera is essentially a stranger to her, even if she’s Jaal’s favorite cousin.

“Jaal more than satisfies me emotionally,” Ryder says. She takes a breath, ready to admit what worries her. That’s the point of this, after all. “But I worry that I might not satisfy him.”

Neera tilts her head. “If he has concerns, he will he discuss that when he’s asked,” she says with a shrug. “You can worry then. There is no need to worry now.”

“You make it sound so simple,” Ryder says. “I wish I could believe that.”

“But it is,” Neera says. “Why would you worry over something that has yet to be?”

Ryder tries to picture that sort of life, a life where you didn’t worry over every possible outcome. She wonders what it says about her that she can’t. “I guess you’re right,” she says, not wanting to get into a discussion about anxiety in the middle of the cafeteria. “If Jaal has an issue, he can talk about it.”

Neera smiles, a wide smiling showing almost all her teeth. “For what it’s worth, from what Jaal’s told me, I don’t think there’s an issue.” She stands, then takes one of Ryder’s hands in both of hers. “I must bring this to Jaal’s true mother. Enjoy your day.”

Ryder watches her leave, wondering what exactly what will be said to Sahuna. Finally she decides to take Neera’s advice and tries not to worry about things not yet to be.

#

Ryder has dinner with Jaal’s family and she can barely keep up. She tries, oh how she tries, but there are just so many of them. Finally she sits back and simply listens, trying to take in at least three conversations at once.

Jaal’s in fine form, teasing one cousin then talking serious political matters with a sibling in almost the same breath. She wonders what it would have been like growing up with such a family and can’t even picture it. The Ryders were close-knit yet so very separated from each other.

One by one, members of Jaal’s family leaves until it’s just the two of them with Sahuna. Jaal’s got his arm around her shoulders and a sense of contentment settles over Ryder. She puts her hand on Jaal’s knee and hopes that someday, he’ll be able to meet her mother. Ellen will like him, of that Ryder has no doubt.

“My true mother, I did not want to say this in front of the rest of the family, but Ryder has decided to also start a _tavoan._ I spoke to SAM this afternoon,” Jaal says and Ryder can’t help but smile at the pride in his voice. She’ll have to research more angaran customs. She won’t have him miss out on anything for her.

“That is wonderful to hear,” Sahuna says, her eyes lighting up. “Do humans have any sort of customs like that?”

Ryder blows out some air from her lips. “Not really. A couple of hundred years ago, though, a man had to get permission from a woman’s father before he asked her to marry him. But that’s not the case now.”

“Permission?” Sahuna asks, looking almost affronted. “Why would a father give permission?”

“Society was different then. Women weren’t considered to be equal to men. Hence permission,” Ryder says.

“I’m glad your society has changed,” Jaal says seriously. “I cannot imagine any world where another person would try to hold you back from something you’ve set your mind on.”

“Can’t imagine my dad ever trying to pull something like that,” Ryder says. “But there’s no other customs. Family isn’t nearly involved with relationships for humans like they are with angarans.”

Jaal and Sahuna share a look she can’t quite interrupt. Pity, perhaps? Family is so important to the angaran Ryder understands completely why they might pity her for that. But she’s trying. The crew of the _Tempest_ plus a few select others have become family to her. SAM will make sure to include the right people.

“Such differences in your upbringing, yet you two have found each other. It is beautiful,” Sahuna says, standing up. “Now, this mother must get some rest. I’ll see you both tomorrow. Stay clear.”

Ryder watches Sahuna walk out of the cafeteria with her head resting against Jaal’s shoulder. The dinner rush is over, leaving only a few occupied tables and just a slight buzz of conversation. A satisfied weariness settles over her. It’s been a productive day, prepping the _Tempest_ for their next trip. The outpost on Kadara reported some issues and she doesn’t want to take any chances.

“Come, let us retire for the night,” Jaal says as stands up. “Unless you have more work to do?” He grabs both their trays before Ryder has a chance to pick up her own. “If you don’t, I thought we could talk a bit.”

And there goes her satisfied weariness, a sharp burst of anxiety in her stomach taking its place. What did he and SAM talk about? From her research, she knows that the first question is always the sex question. Maybe humans and angara aren’t as compatible as she thought?

“Okay,” she says, trying to keep the worry out of her voice. “Let’s talk.”

It fails, of course it fails, because Jaal _knows_ her. “Oh, my darling one, I would take you in my arms right now if I weren’t holding these trays.”

She smiles at that, because how can she not? His words do make her feel better. If something was out of step between them, she would know, and he wouldn't be looking at her so tenderly.

Ryder takes one of the trays from his hands. “I suppose I can help with your burden.”

“You have no idea how the words you say are true,” Jaal says.

They recycle their trays and the moment their hands are free, Jaal takes her hand in his. It’s taken a bit of time to get used to, but public displays like this don’t bother her any more. In the beginning of their relationship, Ryder wanted to keep everything private, as is her nature. But it wouldn’t be fair to only think of her feelings, not when his are just as important. Now, though, she enjoys the simple comfort of holding hands off-duty more than she realized possible.

The walk to her father’s old quarters are silent, and Ryder feels no pressure to fill the silence with words. Jaal will tell her what he wants to talk about soon enough. There is still the slight thread of worry fluttering over her skin, but she does her best to push it away.

She silently tells SAM to busy himself elsewhere for a bit. SAM’s always there, even when he’s not, but just the act of asking him to disappear is enough. She looks around the room - why does Jaal insist on making the bed every damn day - and waits while he settles into what she’s dubbed the reading chair.

When Jaal looks pointedly down at his lap, Ryder grins, knowing things can’t be that bad, though she’s still admittedly curious to know what he wants to talk about. She sits down on his lap and gives herself a few moments of simply being in his arms, of being held. This relaxes her more than any meditation technique Lexi could ever offer.

“I had a realization today when discussing sex with SAM,” Jaal says. The flutter of worry amps up and starts to feel more like a knot to Ryder. She waits, deciding not to say anything until Jaal’s finished. “A few times, not many, hardly any at all, really…”

He trails off and then is silent, which isn’t like him at all. “Jaal?” she asks, resting her head against his shoulder. She looks up and sees tears in his eyes and sits back up immediately. The knot’s been upgraded to a sledgehammer of worry.

Jaal takes a deep breath and Ryder doesn’t resist as he holds her tighter. “SAM helped me understand that I have deceived you, dearest, and even though it was not with malice, it still weighs heavy on my heart,” he says, each word telling her how upset he is.

Deceived her? Ryder can’t even begin to wrap her head around that one. “Okay, then,” she says, wiping away the tears under his eyes with her thumb. “Let’s figure this out.”

“How are you not upset?” Jaal asks, his voice disbelieving.

“Because I don’t know what it is yet,” Ryder says. “And I believe you when you say it wasn’t with malice. So I reserve the right to get upset once I know more. How’s that?”

His eyes close, as he rests his brow against her cheek. “Always so practical,” he says softly. “There have been a few times when we’ve made love when I have not come to completion but I let you think I had.”

Ryder doesn’t move as she tries to comprehend what Jaal is saying. “You’ve been faking orgasms?” she asks. But that doesn’t sound right. Jaal likes to talk, but he’s not particularly loud in bed and more than once she’s not been sure if he’s orgasmed or not. She always assumed he would tell her if he hadn’t, especially consider how she lets him know about herself.

He shakes his head. “I would not insult you like that,” he says. “I would let things run their course without letting you know.”

Definitely better than faking an orgasm. “Does this happen a lot?” she asks. Then with her pulse speeding up, she adds, “Is it something I’ve done?”

“It is not you,” Jaal says at once. She sees him reading the metrics in his visor. Someday, she’s going to have SAM tell her his vitals during conversations like this, just so that he’s not the only one armed with that information. “Angaran men do not finish every time."

“Like human women,” Ryder says. They _talked_ about this before, how there was no way she would orgasm every time they have sex. “Why wouldn’t you just tell me?”

Jaal turns his head, staring out into the room. “The human pornography vids Liam gave me-”

Ryder groans. This explains a few things at least. “Don’t base our sex life on human porn, _please_. They’re completely unrealistic and basically awful,” she says.

“Really?” Jaal asks, confusion lacing his voice. “Why in the world would your people make sex vids that aren’t realistic? Isn’t that the point of pornography? To explore the realm of the possible?”

Ryder sits up straight at that. “That’s what angaran porn is like? Realistic sex?” She bites her lower lips. She’s watched porn before, but nothing really ever made her feel like she was missing out by _not_ watching. But what Jaal describes… “Is that… Is that something we could…”

Jaal laughs, a deep chuckle that she knows is not directed at her. The sound goes through her, settling into her core. “Yes, you temptress. That is something we most certainly could do together. I would very much enjoy watching angaran sex vids with you.”

Her cheeks flush, even though there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. “Maybe when we’re on the _Tempest_ ,” she says. “We’ve still got the setup from movie night.”

“I like the way you think,” Jaal says, kissing her neck.

It would be so easy to just let Jaal continue, but she wants to make sure everything is right between them. “So you’ll let me know if you won’t come from here on out?” she asks. “And if you ever need more time or more anything, really, when we’re making love, tell me?”

Sometimes it feels strange to call sex making love all the time. But that’s what sex truly is with Jaal. No matter the position or the tempo or the words spoken between them, sex with Jaal has never once felt like they were simply fucking.

“Yes,” he says, his voice a promise.

“Good,” Ryder says, kissing him lightly on the lips. She knows she should drop the subject, but her curiosity gets the better of her. “So when you say this happened only a few times, do you know how many?”

Jaal leans back in the chair, and Ryder takes the chance to rest against him, enjoying the way he rubbed large circles onto her ass with the palm of his hand. “I don’t, but SAM said it was thirteen percent of the time.”

Ryder quickly does the math in her head. “So about six times,” she says. She’s suddenly embarrassed, realizing this lets Jaal know that she knows about how many times they’ve made love since the first time on Aya.

“Should I ask how you know that?” Jaal says, his voice dropping down into a lower register.

“No, no you should not,” Ryder says, turning so that she straddles him in the chair. It’s a bit uncomfortable but she knows, as Jaal brings her in for a kiss, that she won’t be sitting here for long.


	3. Emotionally

“Jaal, got a minute?”

“Go on ahead,” Jaal tells his true mother. They are supposed to walk Meridian’s grounds today. To have an artificial planet with such realistic greenery is amazing and he wants to take advantage while he can. “I will catch up after I speak with Scott.”

Even after knowing him for two months, Scott remains a bit of a mystery to him. Then again, Skylar did, too, in the beginning. Now she is as dear to Jaal as the sun on his skin. Dearer. Someday, he hopes any barriers between he and Scott will crumble so Jaal might truly be able to consider Scott a brother of his own.

His true mother walks slowly, too slowly to be anything other than on purpose. Of course she’s hoping to eavesdrop. So Jaal starts to walk in the other direction towards the main bridge of the _Hyperion_. “Come, Scott. Let us talk.”

“So I take it you know what this is about?” Scott asks, hands deep in his pockets as he stares at the floor.

Jaal likes to think he knows a thing or two about human body language now, and if he’s reading Scott correctly, Ryder’s brother is extremely uncomfortable. This, he doesn’t understand. The _tavoan_ is a joyous occasion, two people who care enough to involve their families. But the Ryder family is so different from his own, so full of secrets, something he doesn’t understand. He is grateful, though, that his Ryder is trying to break that cycle and not keep secrets of her own.

“I do,” Jaal says quietly. “I appreciate that you are willing to ask a question.”

“Yeah, well, this relationship has a much better chance of working out than Skylar’s last one, so I suppose I should help in any way I can,” Scott says, turning down a hallway. There are no other people around, so they both come to a halt.

Ryder’s mentioned her past love, a volus, back in the Milky Way. It seemed a tragic tale, being in a relationship with someone you would never be able to truly touch. But the demise of that love is what guided her to Andromeda, so Jaal can only be thankful to this volus, long dead now. Hopefully he lived a long and satisfactory life.

Jaal waits for the question, not wanting to rush Scott. Fitting that he is the one to ask this question, he thinks. From what his Ryder has told him, Scott and she had trouble emotionally, growing up. She says the worst is behind them, at least. 

“So,” Scott says, still looking down at the floor. “Does Skylar satisfy you emotionally?”

This is the question that worries Jaal the most. She can be so closed off sometimes, yet he knows how hard she tries. The effort alone amazes him. How could he not be satisfied when she is not angara? Emotions are part of everything he does. He can not turn them off if he wanted. But Ryder? She was raised to keep her emotions close, to never give anyone a clue of her true feelings. Ammunition, she tried to explain to him once. As if her emotions were a weapon that could be used against her.

“She does,” Jaal says, thinking of how he learned to read her emotions, even when she thought she was hiding them. Once he discovered her secrets, a curled fist became a scream of rage. A half smile as loud as a boisterous laugh. No, she does need to show the galaxy her feelings because he already knows how to read them. “She is my everything. Please believe that.”

Scott looks up then, meeting Jaal’s eye for the first time since they spoke. “You know, I really do. I always assumed Sky would find someone just like her, just like any of the Ryders, really. Always know where the bodies are hidden, that sort of thing. But you’re nothing like that.”

His translator tries to figure out the idiom, but he gives up. He can ask Ryder later. “You call her Sky?” Jaal asks. A lovely nickname, for she is like the sky to him, giving him the sun, moon, and stars. Giving him _everything._

“Apparently I had trouble with the letter r as a kid,” Scott says with a shrug. “Sky’s a lot easier to say. And it stuck.”

“Does she have a nickname for you?” Jaal asks, eager to continue this conversation with Ryder’s brother. This is the longest that the two of them have spoken alone since they’ve met.

“Nah,” Scott says, shaking his head. “Scott’s pretty easy to say. No real way to shorten it.” He glances back down at the floor and Jaal can tell the conversation is over. He will have to try to engage in more soon. “Well, guess I’m supposed to give a report to SAM now. Thanks, Jaal.”

Jaal nods and watches Scott walk away, not wanting to follow too closely. But then he brightens, knowing he is about to go outside to feel the sun’s warmth on his back and spend the afternoon with his family.

#

“Put your back into it, you nit,” Gil says as they stack another crate onto the anti-grav lift.

“You put your back into it,” Ryder says once the crate is securely fastened. “You’re lucky I’m helping.”

Gil pilots the anti-grav lift up the _Tempest’s_ ramp. “You’re the bloody captain of this ship. You _should_ be helping. In fact, I think you should be doing most of the work and let me rest.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Ryder catches a glimpse of Lathoul, one of Jaal’s brothers, the one who was shot in the back in the Forge. It’s good to see him moving around so well.

They’ve spoken a few times this visit, and Ryder hasn’t felt awkward at all. Unlike any time spent with Teviint, the one who convinced Jaal’s brothers to join the Roekaar in the first place.

“Excuse me a minute, Gil,” Ryder says. The crates can wait for now.

“Oh, I see how it is. Captain’s privilege, eh? Let your minions do all the dirty work?” Gil says with a shake of the head as he picks up another crate.

“I’ll be back,” Ryder says as she walks towards Lathoul.

“Before or after my unborn child arrives into this galaxy?”

Ryder considers flicking Gil off - he is in a mood today and frankly she doesn’t want to put up with it - and simply waves instead. Jaal’s brother looks down at the ground as she approaches. She furrows her brow. Maybe this isn’t part of the _tavoan_? Well, it will be good to speak to him, at least.

“Hi there,” Ryder says, putting her hands in her pockets.

A silence settles over them. Ryder’s not sure what to say, so she does what she does best. Stay silent. It was one of her father’s favorite sayings. _Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt._ It might have been one of his favorites, but certainly something he never practiced. Alec Ryder hardly ever stayed silent. No matter the subject, the man had an opinion. She wonders what he’d think of Meridian.

Even with silence, though, she takes time to observe. Looking at Lathoul, no one would ever know that he was shot more than six months ago. The number gives her pause. How has it only been six months? It feels like a lifetime since she and Jaal traveled to the Forge to face Akksul. She’s not heard from Akksul or even about him since the one message he sent. She wonders if she ever will again.

“I’ve always hated this ritual,” Lathoul says with a laugh. “I think that’s why the family always chooses me to ask one of the questions. That, and that I’m Jaal’s favorite brother.”

Ryder coughs once and she decides to ask Jaal if he actually has a favorite sibling or if he takes after his true mother, and that every sibling is his favorite. She has a sneaking suspicion that favoritism like that is an inherited trait.

“Well, I appreciate you taking the time,” Ryder says, waiting for which aspect she’ll be answering today.

“Of course,” Lathoul says. “And even though I hate this, one day I’ll get back at Jaal and he’ll need to do this for me.” He flashes a grin and Ryder can’t help but smile back. There are times like this she feels like she could be back in the Milky Way. After all this time, the angara don’t truly feel alien, not like kett. She tries to picture the angaran on the Citadel along with the all the other species. It’s not a stretch to imagine at all. “So.”

Another silence, and but unlike so many other silences, Ryder aches to fill this one. The answer is yes. No matter what is left, spiritual, physical, or mental, her answer will be absolutely yes. She thinks to answer, but instead repeats, “So.”

She’s rewarded with a chuckle. “Does Jaal satisfy you physically?”

“Yes,” Ryder says quickly, not needing to think twice. “He does, though I’d love it if he would run with me once in awhile.”

“Angara are not natural runners,” Lathoul says. “We’re not good at it. Now swimming,” His eyes light up and the grin on his face is a sight to see, “he loves swimming. There’s this spot on Aya, with the most amazing waterfall-”

Ryder coughs and thinks about just how well she knows that waterfall. “I know exactly where you mean. That spot is lovely.”

“It is,” Lathoul says. “Well, even if he doesn’t run, Jaal’s in excellent shape, I hope you know this.”

“I know,” Ryder says, willing herself not to picture Jaal naked and to think about just how wonderfully in shape he is. She fails. Miserably. “I do.”

“Of course, he’s not in as good as shape as me,” Lathoul says with a grin. “He likes to think he is, though. I let him. Good for his self-esteem.”

She laughs, covering her mouth with her hand. “That’s very generous of you.”

Lathoul nods. “I need to get back with the others. And I need to talk to mother. Stay clear.”

“Stay clear,” Ryder says, putting her hands behind her back as she watches Lathoul walk away. Once he disappears, she heads back towards the grav-lift, where Gil is waiting.

“You ready to get some work done or are you going to keep yapping?” Gil yells.

“Yapping sounds pretty good,” Ryder says, even as she walks back to the stack of crates, full of supplies for the _Tempest’s_ next run. It’s time to check back on some of the outposts, especially Kadara, and maybe even spread their wings a bit, search for new places to live.

She thinks of the quarian ark, full of so many different species, all needing different planets. The volus will need an ammonia based world, the elcor a world with high gravity, and the hanar a place with mostly oceans. Won’t hurt to do a little bit of scouting for them. Assuming they’re safe. _Please let them be safe._

Ryder brushes off those concerns and tries to think only of the job in front of her. It works. At least for a little bit.

#

Jaal starts to move off of her, but Ryder stops him. “Give me a minute?” she asks, still trying to catch her breath.

He responds by kissing her, passionately, and there goes any chance of getting her breathing under control in a reasonable amount of time. Jaal rests his bodyweight on her, and even though it’s sort of uncomfortable, with the ends of the tendrils on his chest digging into hers, Ryder’s content. There’s something about being this close to him, close enough she can feel every one of his breaths on her skin, that she absolutely loves. That, and the quiet after sex is sometimes even better than sex itself.

Of course, she’s about to end that quiet. If SAM is having people ask Jaal questions in the same order that’s she’s been asked, Ryder is worried.

Emotion’s never been her strong suit. Growing up, Scott had so many problems, dealing with depression, that she forced any of her own issues to disappear. Her parents had one child with depression, they didn’t need to worry about her, as well.

And it stuck. Even now, she has trouble articulating her feelings, so most of the time she tries not to deal with them. But that’s not fair to Jaal, not when he’s from a culture that embraces emotions. She tries, damn does she try, but Ryder’s fairly certain she’ll never be able to show emotion like he does.

“Something is troubling you,” Jaal says, his voice soft. He kisses her neck and her eyes close. “Will you tell me?”

She gives him a light push and and Jaal moves and turns to his side. Following suit, Ryder props herself up on her elbow. “Did everything go okay today? With the _tavoan_?” she asks, hating the worry she hears in her voice.

“Oh, my darling,” Jaal says, leaning forward to kiss her on the nose. “Please don’t worry. Your brother and I spoke, and all is well.”

“Okay,” she says, the knot of anxiety in the small of her back easing somewhat. “Okay, good.” Ryder scoots a bit closer to Jaal and the palms of her hand linger on his back. “You know I try, right? To be better at the whole emotion thing?”

Jaal nods and Ryder doesn’t resist when he brings her in even closer, giving her the chance to rest her leg on his hip. “I know you do,” he says. “And that you are willing to try amazes me every day.”

Well, that makes her feel a bit better. “Thank you for that,” she says and when that doesn’t feel like quite enough, she adds, “I love you.”

Those are words she doesn’t say nearly enough. It’s not Jaal’s fault that the only other person she said those words to responded with _thank you_. That old boyfriend of hers never did say them back, one of the many reasons she was willing to go to Andromeda.

But Andromeda led her here, led her to this moment, led her to this man. And right now, she’s the luckiest woman in the galaxy.

“I adore you,” Jaal says. “I adore every single thing about you.”

Ryder smiles, the knowledge slowly washing over her that she knows this to be true. Trouble with emotion and all.


	4. Physically

“I’ll see you at lunch,” Ryder says as she and Jaal stops in front of the door of her father’s quarters. “Enjoy the time with your family.”

He places his hand on her cheek. With his gloves, she can’t feel the warmth from his palm, but she tilts her head towards his hand anyway. “And you enjoy your morning.”

The door opens and one of Jaal’s mothers is standing there. Tekkel, if Ryder remembers right. Oh, please let her remember right.

“Mother Tekkel! Come in,” Jaal says, sounding absolutely delighted to welcome his mother into the room. Ryder tries to keep the relief off her face, thanks to Jaal confirming his mother’s name.

Ryder smiles, wondering what question is next. There’s only mental and spiritual left, and both she can respond to with a resounding yes.

“Hello,” Tekkel says as her eyes dart around the room.

“Until later, darling one,” Jaal says softly in her ear. Then with another wave to his mother, he leaves the room.

“There is so much room,” Tekkel says as she continues to look around. It really is ridiculous how big these quarters are, especially compared with the dorm-like rooms most everyone else sleeps in. She doesn’t really need both this room and her quarters on the _Tempest._ Having both actually makes her feel a bit greedy. Maybe it can be turned into an office or something. They could easily fit a couple of desks in here.

Ryder can only nod as she follows Tekkel back into the room. “It’s a little embarrassing, really,” she admits. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

The room, thankfully, looks good. Jaal makes the bed every day - something she simply doesn’t understand - and nothing looks _too_ disorganized. There’s clutter by the coffee machine her mom gave her dad, but that’s all on her. Jaal doesn’t drink coffee, doesn’t drink any caffeinated beverage. Chalk up another thing she doesn’t understand. But at least she can offer some sort of hospitality.

“No, thank you,” Tekkel says. “I will not be long.” She turns and meets Ryder’s eye and suddenly Ryder feels small, like being under a microscope. “It is good to see Jaal so happy. For so long, he wandered, not sure of his place. Now he knows, and seems content. Thank you for that gift.”

“He makes me happy,” Ryder says softly, keeping Tekkel’s gaze. The angaran is slighter than other women she’s seen, her skin a darker purple. Ryder wonders how she and Jaal are related. Being his mother could mean a whole host of relationships.

Tekkel smiles at that. “Good. Good,” she says. “He should make you happy. I must ask you, though, does he satisfy you mentally?”

The question of the day. She knows from their talks he worries about his education, that he’s not learned enough, thanks to the kett occupation.

That’s something Ryder understands completely. She has two years of college under her belt, thanks to extranet classes, but once her university was destroyed in the geth attack on the Citadel, she never transferred. Never even thought about it, no matter how much her dad pushed.

But they both share something, they both want to _learn_. She thinks back to their conversations back on the Nexus, when he basically decided to learn everything he could about the Milky Way, without anyone asking him, too. He took that upon himself, and Ryder is more grateful than she can say, knowing she can talk about her old galaxy, and that he has a frame of reference, no matter how small.

“Yes,” Ryder says, her voice clear. “He absolutely does satisfy me mentally.”

“That is good to hear,” Tekkel says. “He always did like to tinker and learn.”

 _That he does_ , Ryder thinks to herself. A sudden heat rises to her cheeks when she remembers the times when _she_ was the one he wanted to tinker with. Even now, he’s not always satisfied, looking for a new spot to make her moan or figure out a surer way to make her wet. Just last night...

Ryder bites her lip. These are absolutely not thoughts that Ryder should be having in front of his mother.

“A good quality to have,” Ryder says, pleased that her voice doesn’t waver one bit.

Tekkel tilts her head, and for a moment, Ryder wonders if the woman can read minds based on the slight smirk on her lips. “It is, yes. Now, best I go speak to Sahuna.”

Ryder watches Tekkel leave, then rests her forehead on the door, trying to ignore the slight ache between her thighs. It will be a long time between now and when she can get Jaal naked. And alone.

#

“So SAM told me I’m supposed to ask you a question.”

Jaal keeps up his pace as Drack starts walking next to him. His hands are full, carrying two crates of his favorite nutrient paste his mothers brought with them to Meridian. Drack is a good choice for the _tavoan_. Ryder considers the krogan to be family, especially after Kesh’s news, and for that, Jaal does the same.

“I’m pleased that you’re willing to participate,” Jaal says, trying to adjust the top crate without Drack noticing. It’s slipping to the side, and he doesn’t want it to fall to the ground. This nutrient paste is hard to come by.

“Let me get that for you,” Drack says as he reaches out.

Knowing full well what the question Drack is going to ask, Jaal tightens his grip on the crates. The last thing he needs is for the krogan to think him weak, unable to carry two crates of cargo.

“No, no. I’m fine,” Jaal says, speeding up his walk. “I’ve got this.”

Drack snorts but doesn’t reach out again. “You say so,” he says. “You know, this almost reminds me of krogan courtship, from the old days.”

“Oh?” Jaal asks. He’s read as much about the krogan as he can, but there isn’t much in terms of first person viewpoints. Most of the books he’s read have been from the perspective of other species, not the krogans themselves. “How so?”

“Getting the family involved,” Drack says. “For krogan, it was the clan, before the genophage. Now, we don’t really have that luxury. Unless you’re headstrong like my ru’shan.”

Drack’s words sound harsh, but Jaal hears the softness in his voice. If Jaal doesn’t know any better, he might think that Drack is quite proud of his granddaughter. “Falling in love can do that to a person.”

“Back in my day, women chose their mates based on who was the strongest. Now Kesh seems to think she knows better than thousands years of history and goes with brains. Those kids of hers are going to be _smart_ ,” Drack says and now there is no mistaking the pride in his voice.

“And they will have a grandfather who will teach them how to be strong,” Jaal says, choking up a bit at the thought.

New lives are such beautiful and amazing things. There are times, though he has not said anything to Ryder, when he wonders if either of them will bring a new life into this world. They will never be able to have a biological child together, but in several years, he cannot think of a reason why they could not each have a child on their own and then raise them together. But these are not the time for such thoughts. Some day, though, it will be.

“Someone has to,” Drack says. “Sure as void won’t be Vorn.”

The docking bay is mercifully empty as they walk inside. The _Tempest_ waits, ready for flight. It’s been a wonderful week with his family, seeing them and reconnecting. But there is a part of him that is ready to go back to the ship, to the place he considers home more than any other place. A home with Ryder.

Jaal sets the crates down, next to a pile that will be loaded later. His arms burn slightly from the walk, but he refuses to show any weakness to Drack. Not now.

Drack cracks his neck, a sound that sends a chill through Jaal’s spine, all the way to his toes. It’s almost intimidating, which is exactly what Drack intends, he’s sure. But Jaal refuses to be intimidated. He has fought next to Drack, bled with him. Drack fought by his and Ryder’s side against the Archon. The krogan is just as much family as his siblings and cousins.

“So, apparently, I’m supposed to ask you if Ryder satisfies you physically,” Drack says, crossing his arms over his chest. “At first I thought that meant some sort of sex thing but then SAM set me straight.”

Jaal needs to bite his tongue to keep himself from laughing at the thought of discussing sex with Drack. “Definitely not a sex thing,” Jaal says with a shake of his head. “The answer is yes. Ryder does satisfy me physically. She is strong, in both body and spirit.”

“Damn right she is,” Drack says with a nod. “But here’s the thing. I’m not so interested in that. We both know that Ryder gets herself into some stupid shit.”

Jaal carefully considers how to answer, not sure what Drack means by that. “She is willing to sacrifice much for the Initiative.”

 _Sometimes too much_ , Jaal thinks, remembering the Jardaan base after her connection with SAM was severed. All he could do was watch her suffer as she tried to work Remnant Tech. Thankfully, he did not lose her that day as he worried he might.

“Yeah, yeah, we are all, kid. But Ryder seems to think it’s in her DNA. What I want to know, is will you be there to pull her feet out of the fire, so to speak,” Drack says, standing up straight, so he almost towers over Jaal. “She don’t need protecting - I won’t insult her like that - but she does need someone always willing to fight by her side.”

“Always,” Jaal says at once. It’s not even a question. “If I am not with her, it will not be by choice.”

Drack leans back on his heels and seems to consider Jaal’s answer. Jaal meant every word when he told Ryder _wherever you go, take me with you._ If Ryder wants to travel around the galaxy, he will be there. If she even one day decides to go back to the Milky Way, he will be the only angara in that galaxy. Though he hopes she will always be content with her life here in Andromeda.

“Good answer,” Drack says slowly, bringing up his omni-tool. “Hate talking to this thing. SAM?”

_Hello, Drack._

“Yeah, so I did that question thing like you wanted. Jaal’s a-okay in my book,” Drack says.

A flush of pride runs down Jaal’s tendrils. Of course, he should probably tell Drack that this part of the _tavoan_ is supposed to be done in private, without Jaal present. But he decides it’s not his business. Drack will do what he wants.

_Thank you, Drack. I appreciate your assistance. Logging out._

“It’s learned not to talk to me anymore than it has to,” Drack says, shaking his head. “Still don’t like that it’s in Ryder’s head. But if it’s that or death? Guess the we’ll just have to live with the tech.”

“Maybe some day they will figure a way to remove the implant without killing her,” Jaal says, though he wonders if she would want that. Ryder is used to SAM and would mourn SAM’s passing if it ever came to that.

“We can hope,” Drack says. “Alright, enough of this mushy bullcrap. You take care of Ryder and she’ll take care of you and everyone’s happy.”

Jaal smiles. He wants to shout out to Meridian that he will do his best to honor Ryder for the rest of his days. But this is not the time or place. So instead he clasps Drack on the shoulder and says, “That is the plan, my friend. That is the plan.”

#

“I miss you,” Jaal says, looking at Ryder on the display of his omni-tool.

There is a grin on her face as she runs her fingers through her hair. Hair. So alien, yet he absolutely adores it. How soft it can be, how lush. Even the coarser hair between her legs is beautiful. _I’m not the one who decided to go camping on Meridian,_ she says.

Which is true. His family decided to spend a night under the stars. And since Ryder said she has no desire to camp, they are spending the night apart, for the first time in quite some time. He’s grown used to having her next to him as they fall asleep. Most nights, they start in each other’s arms. But when they wake up, they usually are on opposite sides of the bed. A routine started, then. Whoever wakes up first moves to hold the other. The mornings he wakes up to feel Ryder’s arms around him are his favorites.

But tonight he’ll sleep in a sleeping bag next to his siblings and cousins. It will be a good night, but possibly not as good as if Ryder was with him. “We have the rest of our lives to spend together, dearest,” he says. He glances over towards his family. Some are staring at him, probably curious about the omni-tool. The others are settled in quiet conversation. “I want to spend what time I can with my family.”

 _I know,_ Ryder says. _Scott and I spent the evening together, playing poker with Gil. I think, and don’t quote me on this, I think that Scott might have flirted with him a bit._

“Gil is a good man,” Jaal says. “Any man would be lucky to have him in his life.”

 _Agreed. Just wish that Scott was feeling up to coming with us on the_ Tempest. _There’s the loadout room, he could take that for himself,_ she says with a quiet sigh. _Maybe some day._

“It would be good to travel with him,” Jaal says. Very good, he thinks. Any chance he can spend with Ryder’s family is good. “But speaking of the _tavoan_ -”

 _Most awkward transition ever,_ Skylar says, laughing softly.

Jaal’s heart swells. How he adores to make her laugh. It’s such a rare sound, that every time he hears her laugh, he’s entranced. “Perhaps I could have handled that better,” Jaal says, chuckling himself. “Is there anything we need to discuss?”

Her brow furrows. _Here? I’ve got to imagine your family is in listening distance._

“Oh, they are,” Jaal answers. “But I have nothing to hide from them.”

 _Fair enough. Well, I actually don’t have anything today. Nothing to worry about on my end._ _Who’d you talk to today?_

“Nothing?” Jaal asks, a knot of tension leaving his shoulders. He didn’t realize how much he worried about her question today, dealing with the mental part of self. But she is satisfied. That’s all that matters. “That’s good to hear. And I spoke to Drack.”

 _No,_ she says, putting a hand over her mouth, covering her smile. She does that so often, covering her mouth when she smiles and laughs, almost as if she is ashamed. Some day he will try to understand, or maybe show her that she does not need to hide her feelings. At least not with him. Never with him. _That’s fantastic. I’m talking to you, so I assumed you survived._

“That I did. Drack seemed…” Jaal pauses as he searches for the right word to use, “content with my answer.”

There is a smirk on her lips when she answers, a smirk that tells him she knows exactly what that look does to him. _So I satisfy you physically?_

Jaal takes a breath, reminding himself that he is within easy distance of his family. “You are a siren,” he says, dropping his voice to a lower register, one he knows she likes. “You’ve been sent to me simply to torment me when you’re not within reach. You know that’s not the type of physicality it means.”

 _Someone’s been reading up on Earth mythology,_ Ryder says, stretching her arms above her head. _I’ll be good. Promise._

“So you say,” Jaal replies. One of his mothers waves him over. He supposes it’s time he pay attention to his family instead of Ryder. “I’m needed. But I will see you tomorrow, my darling. Sleep well.”

 _Good night,_ Ryder says, bringing two fingers to her lips. Jaal does the same, and they touch their omni-tools at the same time. Not nearly the same as a real kiss, but the best he’ll get tonight. And then tomorrow, he will have the real thing.

 


	5. Mentally

“I missed you,” Ryder says as she pulls Jaal down for a kiss. He makes no resistance as she wraps her arms around his neck, bringing him in close.

They kiss, long enough that he wonders if there might not be time to quickly make love, before he must meet his family again. But then the door to her quarters on the _Hyperion_ chimes, and they break apart.

“Hold that thought for later,” Ryder says, walking to the door. It opens, and an older human male that Jaal doesn’t recognize stands before them. “Harry! What are you doing here? Everything okay with Scott?”

The name clicks. Harry Carlyle, the doctor taking care of Scott. Also a close friend to the Ryder family, if Jaal is remembering things right. He wonders if he should introduce himself when Ryder says, “Harry, have you met Jaal?” She takes his arm and Jaal tries to remember which hand is the one to use for a human handshake. “Harry, this is Jaal Ama Darav. Jaal, this is Doctor Harry Carlyle.”

Jaal sticks out his left hand just as Harry puts out his right. One day he will get this right, he thinks as he quickly switches hands. _Firm but not too firm_ , is what Ryder told him about handshakes. He doesn’t like this nearly as much as an angaran greeting, with those, there is more contact, more connection. A handshake seems almost impersonal compared to that.

They shake hands, and Jaal’s almost confident that he got the greeting right. “Good to know you,” he says.

“Thanks,” Harry says. “So SAM told me to come over here. I’m not exactly sure how this works…”

Ryder reaches out and puts her hand on Harry’s arm. That alone is unusual. Ryder hardly touches anyone other than him. A unworthy flash of jealousy courses through him. Harry is a family friend, nothing more.  It’s ridiculous, Jaal knows it is. But it is there.

“Thanks, Harry,” Ryder says. “This means a lot.” She takes her hand away. “I’m not supposed to be here for this. I’ll stop by the medbay later. I want to know when Scott will be cleared for field work.”

“It’ll be a while,” Harry says. “But stop on by. Maybe visit Elizabeth in statis. You haven’t done that for a bit.”

So Harry knows the truth about Ryder’s mother. Jaal wonders why he hasn’t been introduced to someone obviously so important to the Ryder family. But that will be a question for another day. Or perhaps tonight.

“We’ve got a plan.” Ryder turns and stands on tiptoe to kiss Jaal on the cheek. The gesture moves him more than he can express. A month ago she would have never kissed him in public. And look at her now. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Until later, darling one,” Jaal says.

Ryder nods and stands up straighter. As she walks to the door, Jaal sees the transformation from Ryder to the _Pathfinder._ It’s subtle, but it’s there. A hint of tension and stress settle on her shoulders. He will have to help ease that tension for her tonight.

“You know, I’ve know Skylar and Scott since they were babies,” Harry says, crossing his arms over his chest. A smile settles on his lips. “Sometimes it’s hard to believe they’re both adults, making their own way through life now.”

“How did you know the family?” Jaal asks, curious to know more about anyone involved in Ryder’s life.

“Alec and I were roommates in college,” Harry says. “After we graduated, I went off to medical school and Alec joined the army. We stayed in touch, though. Feels like a lifetime ago.”

Jaal thinks about the differences in angaran and human culture. If the Ryders were angara, Harry would be considered family, any children of his own would be cousins to the Ryder twins. The disconnect between family and friends for humans saddens him sometimes. Perhaps he can discuss the matter with Ryder. Kesh will be having children. If some day, he and Ryder decide to raise children together, it will be good to consider Kesh’s children cousins of their own.

“It’s good for her to have someone who knows her not just as the Pathfinder,” Jaal says quietly.

Harry nods. “Agreed. She’s handling this all brilliantly, but I’m starting to see some cracks on the surface. My guess is, though, that you’re helping her handle everything. Suppose I should thank you for that.”

It’s not possible to keep the smile off of his face. “I would do anything for her,” Jaal admits, his heart clenching. What he says is true. The love he feels for Ryder is almost overwhelming sometimes, in the best sort of way.

“That’s what I gathered with this whole ritual thing,” Harry says. His brow furrows and Jaal wonders what that can possibly mean. “Now, this isn’t marriage, right? What you’re doing?”

Jaal holds out his hands, to show that no deception is within his reach. “This is a step before marriage,” he says. “But not a marriage ceremony. I think we are both too young for that.” Which is the truth. There is so much to do and learn before they should settle down and start a family of their own. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t think about it, though. “Perhaps one day…”

“I’m not sure how it works for angara, but Skylar just turned twenty-three. That’s pretty damn young for a human to get married,” Harry says. The furrow disappears and the doctor seems much more relaxed. “But a step before marriage ritual I can get behind.”

“Thank you, Harry,” Jaal says quietly. Another approval, more fuel for the ever burning fire in his heart.

“Apologies if I’m doing this wrong,” Harry says, and to Jaal’s surprise, he looks nervous. “SAM didn’t go into much detail. Does Skylar satisfy you mentally?”

“She does,” Jaal answers at once. “She is bright and knows so much. I’ve learned a great deal about the universe and even myself since we’ve met. More than that, I’m proud of her.”

Harry’s face relaxes. “You and me both. Had to admit, I wasn’t sure she’d be up for the whole Pathfinder thing. But she’s done her father proud.”

Jaal would have liked to have met Alec Ryder. Ryder’s tried to explain her relationship to him; she always thought she disappointed him, no matter what she tried to do. But Jaal is certain that cannot be the case. Who wouldn’t be proud to have a woman such as Ryder as a daughter?

“Maybe someday I will be able to meet her mother,” Jaal says in a quiet voice. He’s gone to Ellen Ryder’s stasis pod several times since the _Hyperion_ made it to Meridian. There’s not much to do except pay his respects, but he would like to tell Ellen Ryder that he cared, even before she came out of stasis.

He hopes Ryder’s mother will be pleased her daughter found love in Andromeda.

“Wouldn’t that be something?” Harry asks. “It’ll be a while. We don’t have the manpower to research her disease yet. Someday. Hope I’m still around to see it.” He slaps his thigh with the palm of his hand. “I need to get back to cryo-bay; we’re bringing another twenty out of stasis today. Talk to you later, Jaal.”

“You as well,” Jaal says, holding out his right hand, in the proper way to say goodbye. He thinks. “It was good to meet you, Harry.”

They shake hands and Jaal can’t help but be proud of himself. He’s learning. One day, he’ll figure out the rest of the species greetings as well.

“Good to meet you, too, Jaal. You keep taking care of Skylar,” Harry says with a nod.

Skylar. It’s strange to think of her as Skylar. She is Ryder in his head, since that’s what she prefers to be called. But Jaal supposes that Harry’s known Ryder long enough that he can call her whatever he wants.

“I will,” Jaal says. He will take care of her for as long as she lets him, just like she will take care of him.

Harry exits the room, leaving Jaal to his thoughts. Only one more day to go, and then the _tavoan_ will be complete. Then he will discover what his family thinks of their relationship.

#

She decides not to worry until dinner.

Ryder’s made sure she’s been available all day, waiting for whoever’s supposed to ask the last question for the _tavoan_. She’s kept herself busy in some storage rooms on the _Hyperion_ , the door wide open, trying to find any last minute inventory that the _Tempest_ might need. But no one ever showed up.

Anxiety starts to swell a bit as she enters the cafeteria. Jaal’s family is nowhere to be seen. What does this _mean?_ Could they have already decided she’s failed?

It can’t be that. It _can’t_ be. Sahuna loves her, Ryder knows this. Maybe they’ve just been busy today. His family leaves in two days, and Jaal wants to spend as much as time as possible with them, understandably so. They can always visit when they go to Havarl, but it’s not the same.

Ryder gets in line for dinner. She miscalculated her timing, putting her in the cafeteria during the busiest time. Hopefully the food she gets for dinner will be worth it.

To pass the time as she waits, Ryder decides to people watch. Her gaze goes to one corner and stops as her eyes meets Teviint.

The sister who shot Lathoul in the back. Her stomach clenches at the memory of that night, of watching Akksul point a gun at Jaal’s face, and how close she came to putting pressure on the trigger of her own pistol. If Ryder killed Akksul that night, would she and Jaal have ever gotten together? Knowing how important trust is to Jaal, somehow she doubts it.

She meets Teviint’s gaze with a level look of her own, ignoring how the angara tenses up a bit. What was Sahuna thinking? While Teviint no longer ran with the Roekaar, Ryder still isn’t sure how she feels about aliens. Especially aliens sleeping with her brother.

As quickly as she can, Ryder debates staying in line or walking over to Teviint to speak to her. Getting this over with wins out. She walks over to the corner where Jaal’s sister stands and takes a breath.

“Hi,” Ryder says, She wants to be anywhere but here right now, but she thinks of Jaal, thinks of how happy this whole process is making him, and stands her ground.

“Hi,” Teviint says.

The silence stretches out between them and Ryder isn’t sure what to do. They stand in front of a big picture window, so she turns to look outside. From here, she can see the the closest landing pad. And the _Tempest._

The view of the _Tempest_ is gorgeous from here. More and more Ryder thinks of the ship as her home. Jaal speaks of finding a home of their own some day, and it’s a beautiful thought. But right now, the _Tempest_ and Jaal is all the home she needs.

“I am not good at this,” Teviint says, her voice on the verge of cracking. “When Mother asked this of me, I should have refused.”

“But you didn’t,” Ryder says quietly. That’s a start, right? Something to hold on to. Something to build on. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

Teviint kicks at the ground with her shoe. “There is lingering hatred in my heart,” she says. “I wish there wasn’t, not when you bring Jaal so much joy, but it is there.”

Ryder says nothing, knowing anything she says will seem like platitudes. One day, she will simply have to hope that Teviint accepts her and her place in Jaal’s life. She can’t ask for more than that. Even so, the disappointment leaves a bitter aftertaste in Ryder’s mouth. Familiar, almost. Her last relationship had been with a volus and her parents didn’t even try to understand.

What would Alec and Ellen Ryder think of Jaal? She’s not sure, and that uncertainty upsets her more than she cares to admit.

“I will not disappoint my family, not when they’ve asked me to be a part of this,” Teviint says. “So I ask you this,” she turns so that they’re looking right at each other, “does Jaal satisfy you spiritually?”

It’s a question Ryder would never have considered before the _tavoan_. She’s not a spiritual person, she never has been. Alec and Ellen Ryder raised their children to be logical and to question everything. The gaping holes left in Ryder’s questions about religion were too much to overcome.

Sometimes, though, she’s jealous of Suvi’s faith. Even Jaal is embracing the angaran belief of reincarnation since their brush with the concept on Havarl. But Ryder’s engineering mind refuses to think there’s anything over than a scientific explanation of what happened with that relic.

But religion doesn’t necessarily need to be spiritual. Perhaps it can be more like the turian’s spirits, to encompass a place or a thing. Or maybe it’s something that Ryder can’t even explain. She thinks of her soul, of her sense of self, of her _spirit_.

Anyway she looks at it, she’s better off because of Jaal. And she can gladly tell his sister that. “Yes,” Ryder says, keeping her voice light. “He does. Jaal does satisfy me spiritually.”

Teviint stares at her and Ryder doesn’t look away. Let Jaal’s sister know that she’s here for the long haul. There will be no driving her away, even if there’s hatred in the woman’s heart.

“Best I speak to my mother and let her know we spoke,” Teviint says. She starts to walk away, then stops. Turning back towards Ryder, she adds, “Thank you.”

Ryder isn’t sure what exactly she’s being thanked for. But she’ll gladly take the thanks. “You’re welcome,” she says. Teviint turns again and quickly leaves the cafeteria.

Turning, Ryder sees that the line for food has gotten even longer than before. She debates if the line is worth it when she has a protein bar in her father’s quarters. But there’s a truth she can’t deny. If there’s real food to be had, Ryder wants to eat it.

With that in mind, she heads back in line.

#

Ryder stares at her email terminal in her father’s quarters, wondering which one to answer first. Messages from Tann, Addison, Christmas Tate, and August Bradley, all marked with high importance, wait for her.

She opens Bradley’s first. He’s not truly forgiven her for naming him ambassador, she thinks. But considering the other options, he made the most sense. The Moshae seems content to study the vaults, Hayjer’s needed as Pathfinder for the salarians, and Morda? No. Just… no.

Prodomus is doing well and Bradley was smart enough to train a successor as they built up the outpost. He’ll do the job and do it well. And in the end, Ryder can’t ask for more than that.

His message involves the forming of a true militia, one that would eventually act as a peacekeeper force for all of the Heleus Cluster, even for the angara, should they wish it. Somehow they doubt they will, probably preferring to protect their own.

The request would involve waking up thousands of more people in cryo, across all four species. It’s not a decision she can make on her own. The leadership for the Initiative needs to be involved with this one.

Just as she finishes her response, telling him that, the door opens, and Jaal walks inside. Since her back is to the room, Ryder turns in her chair, rolling her shoulders as she does. She’s been hunched over her desk since she finished dinner at the cafeteria, and her muscles are protesting because of it.

“Good day?” she asks as he sits in one of the overstuffed chairs.

Jaal nods as he starts taking off his _rofjinn_. “It’s hard to believe their visit is almost over,” he says, leaning back in the chair. “I will miss having them here.”

“We’ll be able to visit,” Ryder says, sitting on her hands. Jaal’s not quite at ease, not as he usually is this time of night, when it’s just the two of them. Something to do with the _tavoan_ , she’s sure of it.

Harry could have asked one of two questions. With Harry, she doubts it was spiritual, so mental is the only other options. Her stomach sinks. Jaal talks about how uneven his education was. But hers was, too. She should have finished college, she _knows_ this. It would have helped her in so many different ways, but she didn’t. And somehow, since she thinks it will be years before there’s any sort of higher education foundation in place here in Andromeda, she probably never will.

A wave of self-doubt crashes over her, memories from when she and her father argued over college. Ryder was happy as a peacekeeper, then. She was in a relationship with someone she cared about, doing a job she thought worthwhile. At the time, college didn’t seem important compared to that. But now, as Pathfinder, it does.

She thinks of the other Pathfinders. Avitus with his fifteen years of being a Spectre. Hayjer being the captain of his ark. Even Vederia’s hundreds of years old with plenty of training as an asari commando.

Then there’s Ryder. A twenty-three year old human who never even finished college. Some days it simply didn’t feel like enough.

Pushing those thoughts away, she concentrates on Jaal. It’s not his fault she doesn’t feel like enough some days, not with everything he does to try to show her that she is.

“You okay?” Ryder asks, not able to help herself. If something is wrong, she wants to know, sooner rather than later.

Jaal looks up at the ceiling and takes a breath. “Why have you not introduced me to Harry until today? If he is close enough to you to partake in the _tavoan_ , I would have liked to have met him earlier.”

There’s hurt in his voice, which makes Ryder want to curl in on herself. It didn’t occur to her that she should have. It’s _Harry_ , dad’s college roommate, who’s just always been there on the edges, for as long as she can remember.

But he’s basically family, or at least the closest thing she and Scott have to family these days. And family is _everything_ to Jaal. Of course he’ll be hurt if he thinks she’s keeping family from him.

“I hadn’t thought about it,” Ryder says as she stands up. So this isn’t about the _tavoan_ but about family. That she can deal with, she thinks, as she walks to the chair across from Jaal. She settles in, bringing her knees up to her chest. “I just don’t see family everywhere like you do.”

Jaal looks almost imposing, the way he sits back in his chair, arms up on the arm rests. But she knows he’s ticklish on the back of his lower set of knees and has seen his face when he tasted ice cream for the first time. She doesn’t think he could intimidate her even if she wanted him to.

“You said that the _Tempest_ crew was becoming family,” Jaal says, tilting his head. “How is that not seeing family everywhere?”

“Point taken,” Ryder says. It’s true. Thanks to the _Tempest_ , it does feel like she has a family of her own. She racks her brain, trying to think of anyone else who she should introduce to Jaal. Captain Dunn? She and Mom were friends back in the Milky Way, but Dunn wasn’t around nearly as much as Harry.

She should ask Dunn about her mom one of these days. Maybe it will help with the pain.

There are days she misses her mother so much it hurts. Scott was always closer to Dad; they seemed to be talking guns and combat scenarios and other war games that Ryder only had a passing interest. Mom was always there, ready to talk science or engineering or whatever was on Ryder’s mind.

And for six months before they left for Andromeda, Ryder lost that. She lost her sounding board, lost the one person who she knew would always be not just willing to listen, but _wanted_ to listen. At least, she lost that until she found Jaal.

“Ryder?”

She looks up, shaking off the sudden melancholy draped over her shoulders like a cloak. “Lost my thoughts there for a moment,” she says, running her hands down her thighs. “I’m back.”

“It’s alright,” Jaal says and she sees the concern on his face.

“It’s not alright,” Ryder says, standing up. She walks over his chair and squats down. “I’ve hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t introduce you to Harry earlier.”

His fingers trace her jawline, causing Ryder to bite her lower lip. He’s not wearing gloves, and she can feel the callouses on his fingertips and the bumpy texture of the his fused fingers. She takes his hand and bring it up to her lips, a kiss, another quiet apology.

“Apology accepted,” Jaal says and Ryder breathes out in relief. When Jaal accepts an apology, it’s over and done. A good quality to have, one Ryder would like herself.

Ryder stands up and sits down on his lap. In the chair, it’s not very comfortable, but her comfort isn’t the point. The point is to be close to Jaal, and with this, she succeeds.

“So it’s been SAM, Scott, Drack, and now Harry, right?” she asks. She can’t think of anyone else she’s close enough with who might be willing to ask a question. The thought saddens her a bit. Now that Meridian is safe, maybe it’s time to try to expand her social sphere, or work on becoming closer with the rest of the _Tempest_ crew. Maybe even another movie night.

“Yes,” Jaal says. “And you should have answered your five questions, which means my true mother will speak to me tomorrow to tell me what she thinks.”

“Yep, all five,” Ryder says. Her voice becomes wistful. “I spoke to Teviint today. She’s still not happy with aliens.”

Jaal looks away, giving Ryder the chance to rest her cheek against his own. “She fought with the resistance during the battle for Meridian,” he says, sounding sad. “That is a very good start.”

“Agreed,” Ryder says. “I’ll keep trying to bridge that gap. Not much else I can do, right?”

Without any warning, Jaal kisses her. She kisses back, how can she not when he kisses like _that_ , like their kiss can outshine the sun if they try hard enough. “Thank you,” he says, his voice rough. “For trying. It means so much to me.”

Ryder’s not usually one for poetry or sappy love letters, but she can’t help herself in this case. “And you mean so much to me,” she says, her cheeks reddening as the words come out of her mouth.

Jaal leans in for another kiss, but not before whispering, “Agreed.”


	6. Spiritually

He decides to waste no time.

After Ryder leaves to have a video conference with Bradley, the new ambassador for the Nexus, Jaal sets out to find his true mother. His nerves are on edge; he supposes that’s to be expected. Never before has he participated in a _tavoan_ for himself. He’s asked questions for several of his siblings, but that felt a great deal different. It wasn’t his love in question.

If his true mother thinks Jaal should end the relationship... She won’t, of course she won’t; Sahuna loves Ryder, understands how important she is to him. He shakes his head. Nothing sort of Ryder becoming the opposite of who she is now - steadfast and hardworking and above all, _kind_ \- will end their relationship.

She is the love of his life, of that he is certain. An alien, born more than six hundred years ago, who then crossed dark space to find him. So many chances to miss each other by an hour, a day, or a year, and yet they are together. And she _loves_ him.

His true mother sits in the cafeteria, surrounded by family. They leave tomorrow morning and then in the afternoon, the _Tempest_ will leave Meridian as well. Back to Kadara, he thinks with a shudder. Perhaps Jaal will finally take up Ryder’s offer to stay on the ship when they dock.

Jaal catches his true mother’s eye, and she nods. He waits at the entrance as she stands and excuses herself. More than one family member looks back at him, all with smiles on their faces. They all know _exactly_ what he and his true mother will talk about. There are no secrets in angaran families.

“Let us walk,” Sahuna says, taking Jaal’s arm. “Perhaps outside.”

“It’s a beautiful day,” Jaal says. “Of course, every day is beautiful here.”

Which is true. While there might be clouds in the sky, it has yet to rain once since the _Hyperion_ crashed onto the surface of the planet. Every day has been the same temperature. People have started to joke that they will need to visit Elaaden and Voeld, simply for some variety in the weather.

It has the scientists scratching their heads. Understandably so.

They step out into the fields of Meridian and a slight breeze whispers against his cheek. Sometimes, when all is quiet around him, he feels a lure to the planet, a pull he can’t quite explain. It’s as if he is meant to be here and it makes him more grateful than ever that Ryder would like to make Meridian their home.

“I’m sure you’re eager to know your family’s thoughts,” Sahuna says.

“I am,” Jaal admits. How can he not? This is his _family._

“Well, you know mine,” Sahuna says. “Ryder is lovely, though she still seems to hide a bit of herself from everyone.”

Jaal nods, knowing this to be true. But he also knows that more and more she is showing that secret side to herself to him, and it thrills him to no end, that she trusts him like that.

“But…”

The word trails off, and Jaal feels a sudden chill, even with a artificial sun shining high above. “But?” he repeats, amazed that his voice is calm when he now feels anything but.

“I will speak plain, Jaal,” Sahuna says. “You’ve always wanted a family of your own. I remember this from your earliest days.” She sighs and Jaal understands. It’s true. He’s always looked forward to having children of his own. “As far as I can tell, there is no way for you to have children with Ryder. And believe me, I’ve checked. With a number of sources.”

Of course she has.

“Just because we cannot have children together, does not mean we cannot have children,” Jaal says. He’s not broached the subject with Ryder, but he’s heard her speak to Gil and to a few others. She does plan on having children at some point, and any child she is the mother of, he would be honored to be considered the father. Perhaps he won’t have a biological child of his own, but they would have _children._

“That is true,” Sahuna says. She stops walking suddenly and Jaal needs to take a step back so they face each other. Sahuna gently places her hands on either side of his face. “My son, I just want you to be happy. That is all I can ask for in this galaxy where there is so much pain.”

Jaal lowers his chin, closing his eyes. He will so miss his family when they leave for Havarl. “Ryder makes me happy, my true mother,” he says quietly. There is a part of him who thinks he should be shouting this from rooftops, letting the entire galaxy know just how dear Ryder is to him. He wonders how Ryder would react to that. Three months ago, she would hate the gesture. Now? Perhaps she would tolerate it. In three months? Perhaps she might even enjoy the display. Every day is an adventure with Ryder.

“I know she does,” Sahuna says. Jaal looks up, hearing the joy in her voice. Tears are in Sahuna’s eyes when she brings him in for a hug. “Oh, my son. I hope you strive to bring her as much joy as she does you.”

He gives himself a moment to enjoy being held, held by his true mother, before taking a step back. “Every hour of every day.”

She smiles, and Jaal find himself smiling back. “That’s all I can ask. Your family approves of your choice,” Sahuna says, taking his arm once again. “Now, let us go and enjoy this beautiful day.”

#

Even though Jaal’s family approves, the _tavoan_ is not yet over. He has one more question to answer first. He wonders who will ask the question. Someone from the _Tempest_ , most likely. But who? The obvious person is Suvi, dealing with spiritually. But she and Ryder are not all that close.

It’s lunch time in the cafeteria when he’s approached. “Jaal?”

He looks up and there stands Lexi T’Perro. His brow furrows at the sight, wondering if she’s looking to have more tests done. Several doctors and scientists have wanted to run tests on him lately, thanks to this pull the angaran have in regards to Meridian. Today is not a day he is willing to to acquiesce. Not when his family leaves tomorrow.

“Hello,” he says, putting down his cutlery.

“May I have a moment?” she asks, hands behind her back.

She looks slightly uncomfortable and that’s when it dawns on him. Lexi will be asking the last question of the _tavoan_. This surprises him; Jaal is not aware that Ryder and Lexi were close friends. But then again, it’s SAM that’s organizing things. It will have only chosen her for a reason.

“Of course,” Jaal says, standing up. He tells his family where he is going and most have a knowing look on their faces. In front of someone else, he might punch one of them on the shoulder for that look, but he doubts Lexi will approve.

They walk into the hallway, where people, mostly human, are briskly walking. There is a frantic pace to Meridian, one very different from Havarl or Voeld, even with the resistance. He wonders if this is the way Meridian will always be, or if humanity will relax a bit as they embrace their new home.

“I think there’s a storage closet nearby,” Lexi says. “This doesn’t seem to be a conversation to have in front of strangers.”

Jaal says nothing to that, knowing he won’t care if anyone overhears. The more people who know, the better, as far as he’s concerned. But Ryder is more private than Jaal. So he follows Lexi into the storage closet and waits for her to speak.

“I don’t know everything about the _tavoan_ ,” Lexi says and there is an apology in her voice. “I’ve read up a bit since SAM spoke to me but there’s really not a lot of information. I’m guessing this is more a tradition that’s handed down generation to generation?”

“It is, yes,” Jaal says with a nod. “It’s worked well for the angara over the years.”

Lexi smiles, which changes her whole demeanor. She’s brighter, more calm, when there’s a smile on her face. “I can see why. It’s a lovely tradition.”

“Thank you,” Jaal says. He finds himself standing on the balls of his feet, waiting for the final question to be asked. SAM can then talk to Ryder, maybe even tonight. And then, for better or for worse, the _tavoan_ will be over.

“So I gather I should just ask?” Lexi asks. “Does Ryder satisfy you spiritually?”

Jaal’s waited for this question. His views on spiritually have changed quickly in a short amount of time. How could they not? When he was face to face with the truth? That the Jardaan, for whatever reason, created the angara? The Jardaan are powerful enough to create the angara. Isn’t that just what a higher power is? He sees no need to bow down and worship such a people, though he hears that on Aya there are groups forming to do just that.

Maybe one day they will find the Jardaan, the creators. Jaal thinks back to what he’s read about the quarian people. He sympathized them before, now, he doesn’t know what to think. They created the geth as servants, to make the quarian’s lives easier. Is that why the Jardaan created the angara? He holds on to what Ryder said, after the discovery, that the destiny of his people is what they create. He desperately wants that to be true.

But this is _his_ ideas of spirituality, not Ryder’s. She doesn’t believe in a higher power, but doesn’t look down on anyone who does, like so many people. And since Havarl, since seeing first hand about lives passed down to another, she’s been curious to learn more.

As has he. Something they can learn together, perhaps.

“She does,” Jaal says. “She makes me better than I am. I can ask for no greater gift.”

Lexi smiles softly. “That’s a lovely sentiment. I think you’ve helped her a great deal as well. I won’t say more. I wouldn’t want to divulge any patient-doctor confidentiality, of course.”

“Of course,” Jaal says, though he doesn’t quite understand. He never has when Lexi’s said this before. Why would anyone want to keep things from the people they consider important? But it’s another difference on how things are done in the Milky Way. He will respect that.

“Well, I think that’s it,” Lexi says. “I asked, you answered. Now I should go talk to SAM.” She steps toward the exit and the door to the storage room opens. But then she turns back to him. “I’m honored to be a part of this. Truly.”

Jaal smiles widely, so pleased to know that he can consider Lexi family. Even with all the poking and prodding she’s done in the past, she is now _family._ “The honor is mine, Doctor Lexi T’Perro.

Her shoulders straighten a bit and with a nod, she walks out the door. Jaal waits a moment, not wanting to follow too closely. A lightness settles over him. He’s answered all the questions and his family approves of his relationship with Ryder.

Right now, even with all the uncertainty in the galaxy, there is peace in his world.

#

_Pathfinder._ _Will you come to SAM node?_

The question comes the moment she finished a conversation with Kesh. The Nexus had to shut down a few sections thanks to the _Hyperion_ leaving years, maybe even decades before they planned. There’s some tension there, and Kesh is hoping that a visit from a Pathfinder might help.

Ryder’s nzot sure what exactly she can contribute, but when has that ever stopped anyone from asking before? She’ll do her best and try to be fair. The Nexus thought they had four arks to draw power from and now they have three. Compromises will have to be made.

But if they could find the quarian ark… Ryder pushes that thought away. The message from the ark was so cryptic. Yet, there was an ark out there, an ark full of her people. Milky Way people. Who might know more about this Reaper threat. How can they not search, even with that warning?

“Sure thing, SAM,” Ryder says.

It’s a short walk to SAM node and once she steps inside, there’s always a sense of coming home. Sometimes she wonders if that’s because of her SAM implant. Whatever the reason, this strange little place has become one of her favorite spots on the _Hyperion._

She walks up to SAM’s avatar. “You wanted to talk?”

_Yes, Pathfinder. The_ tavoan _is complete. I wanted to discuss the results with you._

Ryder pushes her hands into her pockets, very aware of a sudden anxiety spike. No doubt SAM can sense it, too. What’s the worst that can happen? SAM says to break things off, because clearly she and Jaal are a poor match. But they’re not, she knows they’re not, so she tells herself to stop worrying. As if it’s that easy.

“So what do you think?” Ryder asks, resting her hands on the bar in front of her, gripping the bar with a bit more force than necessary.

_Pathfinder, your pulse has sped up since you’ve entered the room. I assume this means you are worried about what I have to say. Are you?_

“Be a lot less nervous if you told me what’s on your mind, SAM,” Ryder says, biting her lower lip.

_Very well. Based on the concept of family, I asked your brother, Drack, Harry Carlyle, and Doctor T’Perro as the ones to ask questions. They all seemed satisfied with Jaal’s answers._

“Good to hear,” Ryder says, a knot coming undone in her chest. She lets go of the bar and rolls her shoulders. “What about you?”

_Based on the conversations you’ve had with Jaal since the_ tavoan _began, I am also satisfied. You both are committed to each other and truly seem to want to work out any differences. Your stress levels decrease when he is near, which is good for both your mental and physical health. Thank you for asking._

Ryder tilts her head at that. “Why wouldn’t I ask?” she asks. “You put all of this together for me. Of course I care what you think.”

SAM is silent for longer than Ryder expects. “SAM?”

_Apologies, Pathfinder. I did not expect you to answer in such a manner. I do appreciate it._

“What’s going on, SAM?” Ryder asks. She looks at SAM’s avatar. It’s beautiful, in a way, almost looking like a human heart. But she knows if she reaches out, there’s nothing to touch but air. “You okay?”

_Your father viewed me as a tool. One that was meant to save Ellen Ryder. Until you unlocked enough of his memories, I believed I had failed in one of my most important assignments._

“You’re more than a tool, SAM,” Ryder says. “I couldn’t do any of this without you.”

_It would not be advisable, no. We do not know what might happen if you attempt to interface with Remnant technology again._

Ryder shakes her head. “Not what I mean, SAM. You’re my _friend_. I wouldn’t want to do any of this without you.”

And she means it. In the beginning, SAM being a part of her was terrifying. But now? SAM is a comfort, knowing that it’s always there, ready to offer advice or guidance, no matter the subject.

Even with her love life.

_Thank you, Ryder. That is very good to know. You have become more than a way for me to experience the galaxy. You have become a friend as well._

“Thanks, SAM,” Ryder says softly. “That _is_ good to know.” She clasps her hands behind her back. “So everyone is good with Jaal and me.” A sudden thought crosses her mind. “What happens next? With the _tavoan_?”

She doesn’t have any idea what she’s supposed to do with this new information. Besides be happy, of course. How can she not be happy?

_You should speak with Jaal, to inform him that your family approves of your relationship with him. He has spoken to his true mother, so I am sure he will want to speak to you as well._

A flash of a worry comes back, even as she tries to push it away. _Sahuna loves me_ , Ryder thinks to herself. There’s no reason to think that they’ll say anything but good things. Even so, she asks, “Any chance you know what they spoke about?”

_Jaal has asked that I not listen to his conversations when you are not there with him. I have chosen to respect that request. I only engage if he has a specific question to ask me._

“Got it,” Ryder says. “Guess I’ll have to find out the old fashioned way.”

_That would be advisable._

Ryder nods and turns around, hands in her pockets as she walks to the door. It opens automatically, but before she leaves, she takes one last look at SAM’s avatar and smiles.


	7. Family

It’s almost midnight by the time they have chance to be alone.

With Jaal’s family leaving tomorrow, they have one last celebration, a bonfire outside the _Hyperion._

“Back on Earth, we had these things called marshmallows. Pure sugar, basically. Felt like a tiny pillow in your hand,” Ryder says and there is a wistfulness in her voice that she doesn’t hear very often any more. “You impale one on a stick, then roast it over an open fire. Perfect camping food.”

Marshmallows make her think of the good luck rock of her dad’s. When Cora told her that story, more than a year ago now, Ryder was jealous. Jealous as hell that Cora had heard that story and she never had. But back then, she was nothing but jealous of Cora, thanks to the easy way she considered Alec Ryder her mentor. Something Ryder herself never had a chance to do.

Back in the Milky Way, her family went camping in Yosemite once or twice. Mom always hated it, saying she’d rather be at even the cheapest motel over a sleeping bag out in the woods. Scott and Ryder always tried to consider it an adventure, especially when Dad managed to put away his omni-tool or datapad for more than an hour at a time.

This gathering has a completely different feel to those trips. Here, she’s surrounded by people who love and cherish each other, and more importantly, _want_ to be here, instead of tolerating it or simply because it’s expected.

She and Scott will do things differently, she decides right there and then. Someday, many, many, _many_ years from now, they’ll probably both have families of their own, and it will be up to them to make things different. To work at staying a family, no matter how tough or busy life gets.

And maybe, just maybe, Mom might be there for some of that.

“Putting your food on a stick. Doesn’t seem very hygienic,” Jaal says, and Ryder leans back against him. They’re both on the ground, with Ryder sitting between his legs. He responds by wrapping his arms around her, and she doesn’t even flinch, like she would have even a couple of months ago.

Why should a little bit of public affection bother her when she’s surrounded by Jaal’s family? They’ll be her family some day, most likely. Assuming she passed the _tavoan_. But she’s here and they’re welcoming, so she can’t imagine things went too horribly.

“Maybe the fire purified things,” Ryder says, looking up at the sky. Even with the sphere, they can see the stars. Some sort of transparent shielding. Can’t see what’s in the sphere, but they can see what’s outside of it. 

Already the more creative among the Initiative have started coming up with constellations. Give them a full rotation around the run, and there will even be new astrology. She can stop being an Aries, maybe find something that’s a better fit. Not that she actually believes in anything like that. At least, not really.

The evening is winding down, already at least half of Jaal’s family leaving to try to get a good night’s sleep before tomorrow’s early flight. She and Jaal should go to bed, too. The _Tempest_ leaves at oh fifteen hundred tomorrow, but right now, with Jaal’s arms around her and the heat from the bonfire warming her face, Ryder has no desire to move whatsoever.

So she doesn’t. Instead she’s content to listen to them all talk and share memories from the family history. Occasionally, someone asks her a question, sometimes about her adventures here in Heleus, sometimes about life back in the Milky Way.

And one by one, Jaal’s family leaves the comfort of the bonfire, even his true mother, until it’s just the two of them.

“Do we win a prize by outlasting everyone?” Ryder asks, putting her hands on top of Jaal’s. They need to finish putting out the bonfire, but it’s done a good job of going out on its own. Only a little work for them to do.

“A few moments alone before we need to go back so we can get some sleep,” Jaal says as he nuzzles her cheek. “An excellent prize, indeed.”

“Agreed,” Ryder says. Her body might want to stay relaxed next to his, but they still need to talk. And what better place than right here, outside and under the stars?

So she turns, resting back on her knees, putting her hands on his thighs. He looks content right now, sitting up against a tree. His face is so dear to her, every single thing about it. His scars, his piercings, everything. Funny how a face so different than her own now means _home._

“I spoke to SAM this afternoon,” Ryder says, keeping her voice quiet. SAM would let them know if anyone is still in the area, so there’s no reason not to talk now.

“And I spoke to my true mother,” Jaal says, his hand cupping her cheek. “She does have one concern, though I don’t share it.”

Well, there goes the warmth from the evening. “What’s that?” Ryder asks, making sure to keep any hurt from her voice.

“She is simply worried that we might never be able to have a family of our own, since humans and angara aren’t biologically compatible,” Jaal says. “I told her there are other ways to have a family.”

The small ball of stress that settled in her stomach dissipates. She and Jaal never talked about children or families, true. But she’s always assumed he wants a big family. It might be too early for any sort of adoption programs in the outposts, but she could always have a baby. Or two. Maybe with Jill’s help. Some day.

“I’m glad,” Ryder says. “I’d like to have a family with you. Not for a while, though. There’s a lot to do before I can consider that.”

“I know,” Jaal says, and there is a small smile on his lips. “I don’t believe I’m ready for the responsibility yet, either. At some point, though, I would be proud to be the father of any children you have.”

Ryder looks at the ground, her heart threatening to overflow. The first time Jaal told her _you make my heart sing,_ she almost wanted to laugh, thinking how corny that sounds. But now? She understands. She understands more than ever.

“Looks like we’ve settled that, then,” Ryder says, looking back up at Jaal. He’s studying her in that way of his, that makes her feel like the most important thing in the galaxy at this very moment. “SAM doesn’t have any concerns. He thinks you’re good for my stress levels.”

“A compliment, indeed,” Jaal says with a laugh. “Thank you, SAM.”

_You’re welcome, Jaal._

A breeze tickles Ryder’s cheek and she leans forward, kissing Jaal softly on the lips. Sliding his hands around her waist, he brings her closer, so that she is flush up against him. The position is a little uncomfortable, but right now, she has no plans on moving.

The kiss deepens, and she starts to think of Aya, of the waterfall, and decides to break away. This isn’t a remote spot where Jaal pulled in favors to ensure they’d be left alone. The _Hyperion_ is behind them, watching.

“So we keep doing what we’re doing?” Ryder asks, putting a hand on his cheek.

“Exactly,” Jaal says. “For the rest of our lives.”

Ryder turns, so she leans back against Jaal again, and looks up to the sky. There’s peace up there, simply knowing that the stars are waiting. Waiting for _them._

#

“Jaal, let us know the next time you’re on Havarl,” Sahuna says. “I heard that you were on the planet once but didn’t tell anyone.”

Jaal wants to sigh, but he understands. He is so little at home these days. It’s been years since he spent more than a couple of nights in the family home. “It was a very quick trip, my true mother. Only to drop off some supplies,” he says.

“I can work with quick trips,” Sahuna says. She reaches out and pulls Ryder to her, who freezes up at the unexpected embrace. “Ryder, tell him. Next time you are on Havarl, let me know. Even if it’s just for five minutes, I want to see you both.”

_You both._

Jaal’s heart threatens to burst. The knowledge that his true mother not only approves of his and Ryder’s relationship, but she considers Ryder part of the family, is almost too much. He nods, not trusting himself to speak.

“Promise,” Ryder says, taking a small step away from Sahuna, thankfully without being too obvious. “Right now, the order is Kadara, Elaaden, and then Havarl. But things can change quickly.”

Sahuna nods, then without warning, throws her arms around him. “Oh, my son,” she says softly. “Be safe and stay clear.”

“Stay clear, my true mother,” Jaal says quietly, returning the hug as tightly as he can. Already he’s said goodbye to the other members of his family, all of them waiting on the transport.

It’s always bittersweet, saying goodbye. His heart aches at the thought of being separated again, but they cannot stay on Meridian forever. Even with the Archon gone, there are still pockets of kett, doing what they can to disturb the peace. The Resistance is still needed, just like the _Tempest._

But there are reunions to look forward to. And more than that, he is not alone in his travels any longer. He has Ryder. 

Instead of walking up the ramp of the ship, Sahuna steps in front of Ryder. Carefully, as if Ryder’s made of glass, Sahuna puts her hands on her shoulders. “Thank you for taking care of my son.”

Ryder’s cheeks redden as she says, “Well, he takes care of me, too. So we’re even.”

Sahuna nods, tears in her eyes, then walks up the ramp. As the ramp closes, Jaal takes Ryder’s hand in his. “Told you she’d love you,” he says with a grin.

Ryder takes a step closer and wraps her arm around his waist. “I think my mom will love you, too,” she says softly.

“Good,” Jaal says, putting an arm around her shoulder. A humbling thought, one he hopes to live up to. He will work every day to do just that.

They are quiet as the transport carrying his family takes off. Jaal is content to stand there and watch the ship until he cannot see it any longer.

Once it’s out of sight, Ryder takes a breath. “We better check on the _Tempest_ ,” she says. Jaal hears the excitement in her voice and understands. He feels it, too. A chance to go out among the stars. And if they’re lucky, maybe even find time to explore a bit, as well.

“Let’s go,” Jaal says.

The _Tempest_ is just a short walk away. As it comes into view, there’s a flutter in his chest, one he associates with Havarl and the resistance. A sense of familiarity.

With Ryder’s hand in his, she and Jaal head to the ship. Towards their home. And towards their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I would love to know what you thought of the story. :D


End file.
